is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
