I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize