I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
