Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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