She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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