when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
