separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
