I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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