So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
