remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
