This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
