does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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