I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
