So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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