I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Even my vagina gasped.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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