Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
