They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize