So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Duck Duck Cougar?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
