i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize