i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
