the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize