Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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