id be glad to
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize