How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I could fuck to npr.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize