Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
