we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
