Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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