I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize