I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
