I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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