Need sex. Gaining weight.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
