By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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