I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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