When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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