If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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