I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
