kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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