I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
