how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
