that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
