I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
