The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So vagazzling was a success
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
