YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
