saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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