Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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