Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Houston, we have a blender
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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