Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Found your dick twin last night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
