Nicole vs. Life
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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