I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
