im drinking this country out of the recession.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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