I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize