Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
