oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
