im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
