and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
