Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
