I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
